* I am afraid of typing FADE IN.
* I am afraid I won't be able to finish the script.
* I am afraid I don't have enough talent.
* I am afraid the words won't come.
* I am afraid my characters won't feel real.
* I am afraid people won't like my writing.
* I am afraid people won't like my story.
* I am afraid I won't get an agent.
* I am afraid I am wasting my time.
* I am afraid I don't know enough about the craft.
* I am afraid people will laugh at me.
* I am afraid I won't make any money writing.
* I am afraid I won't succeed.
I'm not a psychologist, but I know enough about the writing process to understand that if you allow these and like-minded voices to dominate your thoughts, you will have a hard time hearing your creative voice.
So the question on the table is, How do deal with fear?
I don't think there's any right or wrong approach -- a writer will do what they need to do to vanquish or, at least, manage their apprehensions.
Some times you may be able to ignore the voice, the doubts, the insecurities -- a good way to do that is to dive so deeply into your story, you drown out your negative thoughts.
Other times, you can use fear as a motivator: If, for example, you set a deadline with friends and family, whereby you guarantee you will finish this script by a certain date, your fear of public humiliation can spur you all the way to FADE OUT.
The simple fact is that whatever you do, you must do something, or else fear can devour your creativity.
Two of the greatest American writers, William Faulkner and F. Scott Fitzgerald, wound their way to Hollywood and worked as screenwriters. Read these quotes below, and note the palpable sense of fear:
"I think I have had about all of Hollywood I can stand. I feel bad, depressed, dreadful sense of wasting time. I imagine most of the symptoms of blow-up or collapse. I may be able to come back later, but I think I will finish this present job and return home. Feeling as I do, I am actually afraid to stay here much longer."Faulkner? Fitzgerald? Reduce to "I'm actually afraid to stay here much longer" and "I'm a good writer--honest?"
-- William Faulkner
"My only hope is that you will have a moment of clear thinking. That you'll ask some intelligent and disinterested person to look at the two scripts. Some honest thinking would be valuable to the enterprise right now than an effort to convince people you've improved it. I am utterly miserable at seeing months of work and thought negated in one hasty week. I hope you're big enough to take this letter as it's meant--a desperate plea to restore the dialogue to its former quality...all those touches that were both natural and new. Oh, Joe, can't producers every be wrong? I'm a good writer--honest I though you were going to play fair."
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald to producer Joseph Mankiewicz
Are you kidding me?!
This is what fear can do - eat your creativity alive.
So here's a counterintuitive piece of advice:
Don't avoid your fear.
Don't run away from it.
Rather - acknowledge it.
Feel it.
Let it be.
Let it breathe.
Let it take you deeper into the core of your emotional self.
You will learn things there you can learn in no other place. Emotions, memories, experiences have collected in that inner place for years, untouched because most people never go there.
If you can get curious about why you are afraid, what are the particular elements behind your fears, you may discover a deep reservoir of personal insights and, almost assuredly, great story 'stuff' as well.
Once you know that you can go there, experience your fears, and survive that process, what you may discover over time in going there and coming back is:
Courage.
The courage to give yourself.
To your creativity...
To your stories...
Each one a great unknown...
Waiting for what you will find in your creative journey.
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10 comments:
First off those quotes from William Faulkner and F.Scott Fizgerald are off the hook whack! Great writers burned out by Hollywood; lessons to be pondered indeed!
I don't "hear voices," but I recognize a few fear inhibitors to writing in my own life.
1) The fear I haven't thought things through enough, and will get stuck somewhere in the middle and never finish. Which, to date I'm proud to say has NEVER had its end result: not finishing a story I've commited myself to. I'm quite proud of that!
Still, this fear of getting stuck cause some problems. I tend to drag things out longer than I should. The crazy thing about the fear of getting stuck is that you're doing something that's never been done before -- telling of the story you're currently writing. All the answers aren't laid out. Thus it's intrisic that with writing you're going to have some difficulites, times when you don't have all the answers.
2) The fear that no matter how well I write something it's not going to matter because the forces that are pulling the triggers in Hollywood aren't looking my way. Rather, they're locked on things like pre-existing franchises, ressurecting old movies, and greasing the wheels of their friends and the system. These are the fears of an "unlevel playing field" where story is CLEARLY not king.
3) Sometimes I fear I don't write lead characters as well as I should. I think I did a REAL good on my last romantic comedy, but by and large I fear that I get too wrapped up in minor characters, don't focus enough energry on leads -- which attracts top tallent. Improvementwise, that is the one area of my writing that I'd like to get better at. Sounds like a Screenwriting Expo session, eh?
- E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA
I can relate in some way. Right now I'm in the initial stages of churning out my Act One of a ROM-COM. But I find myself taking an incredible amount of breaks and making excuses to NOT write. And I feel confident that this is due to a fear of failure.
I equate this to having a fear or relationships. If you've been burned by a woman once, you'll play if safe the next go round and guard against injury. So, if you've poured your heart and soul into something once and nothing has come from it but screenwriting competition placements and passes from managers and producers, then it seems likely that you'll play it safe the second, third, fourth, 30th time around.
Isn't it human to guard against injury... typically when repeating the same action that resulted in your injury?
I'm always afraid I'll end up as that guy in his late-forties who wears board shorts and the three-wolf moon shirt, complains that his ex-wife just didn't understand his dreams, and rambles constantly to coworkers about how this thing he's working on right now could be "the one".
That thought crosses my mind at about 3' in the morning while I'm trying to sleep and I cringe.
this is a great, motivational post...
my fear:
-i'm not good enough
-i don't have enough ideas to write a whole story for 90-120 pages
-my characters are too fake
-the dialogue sounds too dramatic or cheesy...
i hate it. but you're right. I need to stop feeling so insecure with myself and just WRITE the damn script!
Good post Scott. Fear and doubt are definitely nestled in Los Angeles/Hollywood. I've been often told I 'think too much', and when I comes to my stories I feel there tends to be too much content that can hurt the structure and flow. So that's a reoccurring doubt, but I accept the challenge wholeheartedly!!
"Andy Bernard does not lose contests, he wins them... or he quits them because they are unfair."
- The Office
Scott, thank you. And thank you once again, for these comforting words sharing our collective fears. Nice to be reminded this condition is ubiquitous and universal. It's also nice to know we all share the collective DNA of writer frustrations, fears, and phobias at the opposite end of our dreams, hopes, and aspirations which spill out to fill hundreds of blank pages.
Here's one for ya, how about a post on your top 5, (or 10) SCREENWRITING BOOKS, that hold a near and dear place in your heart.
I've pretty much arrived at a place where I am very selective about reading any more screenwriting books, but there are a few I'd like to check out, such as the one you recently referred to re: the history of screenwriting and the evolution of screenwriter craft.
Anyways, we'd all probably be interested in knowing what screenwriting books you feel deserve to be on every writers shelf.
Comments, will probably rock as we'll all throw our "best-of's" out there.
Oh, Scott. You're most definitely talking to me. I have heard ALL of those fears at one time or another, together in a pack or alone. It's crushing. I'm a good writer, but I run from it when all those fears become overwhelming.
I also fear I will be too old by Hollywood standards by the time I get any interest and it may sound silly but sometimes...on some days...it's the last straw and I think "what the hell are you doing?"
Yeah. That's me. I'm exactly the writer you're speaking to, reaching out to, trying to lift a bunker of fears equal to the weight of Godzilla's foot from my back. I appreciate it.
And sure! I think "quit whining and sit down and do it!" and I take off like a rocket only to fizzle out when I question some structural beast giving me a problem somewhere in the second act. And then, I'm thirsty, need a sandwich, need to clean or do laundry, go to the store, walk the dog...you get it.
Then, trying to go back to it? Nah. That's when the voices take over. That's when the idea seems stupid.
But I'll keep trying. Everything's easier than walking through a brick wall, but by golly...I'll die trying because I have to write.
Thanks again.
RC, I posed a similar question here, asking what screenwriting 'guru' influenced GITS readers. But I think it's worth revisiting, specific to actual books about screenwriting, writing, creativity, etc.
Look for that early next week.
I am making a mental banner of this (because if I do a real one, I'll forget to see it anyway):
This is what fear can do - eat your creativity alive.
Hells yes. Thanks for putting it into perspective.
I've about 3 features and I think a tv show floating dead somewhere in a dark and dreary corner of my hard drive. Every one of them abandoned when I let fear poison my ability to think creatively and (this is really essential) independently.
My current script started as a fun idea, then someone alluded to the commercial potential of my idea. Guess what? I started not thinking independently, not having fun with my tale.
Instead I was plagued by probably about 80% of the fears you outlined above. Damn thing, I keep thinking. And it too was in danger of becoming stale in my mind.
It took about 7 solid months of not even thinking about it for me to finally say to myself, "Let's get back to having a blast with this."
Of course, the process has been excruciating at times, which leads me to believe (dares me to believe) I may be onto this screenwriting thing. Because if writing a script is just cracking fun all the time, I'm doing something wrong.
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