So back in the day, when Burg & Myers was repped at CAA, we loped over to their HQ (the previous one on Wilshire and Santa Monica Blvd) for a meeting. As soon as one of our agents sees us, he grabs us by the elbow, and says, “You have to see this!”

Grinning wildly, he informs us it’s a rough cut clip from the new movie the Farrelly brothers are working on. He turns on the VCR and we all watch the now famous “hair gel” scene from There’s Something About Mary.

After we all stop laughing, our agent says, “That one scene will make that movie a hit.”

Now that’s a great scene.

Here’s the scripted version:

INT. TED'S HOTEL BATHROOM - SAME

Ted has a newspaper splayed out on the counter (open to the braads) as he furiously FLOGS THE DOLPHIN (chest-high side view.) Wesee some balled-up tissue nearby. After several frantic strokes,he takes a deep breath and slowly and loudly EXHALES, clearlyhaving COMPLETED HIS MISSION.

He draws a few more breaths, picks up a face cloth, and goes toclean up.

But something's missing: The Load. Ted looks down, checks hishands, pants, shoes, looks in the sink, finally glances at theceiling, with no luck.

The Load IS MISSING!!!!

That's when the doorbell RINGS. Ted couldn't look more HORRIFIED.As he buckles his pants, he makes a last, panicky reconnaissanceof the area. The doorbell RINGS AGAIN and Ted reluctantly goes toanswer it.

INT. TED'S HOTEL ROOM - SAME

Ted opens the door and Mary is standing there looking as lovely asever.

                      TED         Hey.

                      MARY         Hi, Ted.

                      TED         You look great.

                      MARY         Thanks.

She notices something.

                      MARY (cont'd)         What's that?

                      TED         Hm?

                      MARY         On your ear, you've got something.

MARY'S POV - a HUGE LOAD is hanging off of Ted's earlobe like adrop earring.

                      MARY (cont'd)         It looks like a gob of...

Mary leans forward for a closer look. Ted is terrified.

                      MARY (cont'd)               (making face)         Is that....hair gel?

BEAT.

                      TED         Sure.

                      MARY         Oh great, I ran out.

Before Ted can stop her, Mary grabs The Load off his ear and WIPESIT IN HER BANGS.

                                                     CUT TO:

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Ted's rolling a little wine around in a glass. He takes a sip,nods his approval.

                      TED         Thanks, that's great.

The WAITER turns to Mary.

                      WAITER         Madame?

ANGLE ON MARY - The light, puffy bangs that Mary started thenight with are gone, replaced by a glazed, ACE VENTURA-STYLE WAVEup front.

And now for the film version:

Wait. There’s no film version of the scene on the Web?

Sigh.

Well, there are these comments by Cameron Diaz:

American actress Cameron Diaz has revealed that she was not in favour of doing the infamous hair gel scene in There’’s Something About Mary.

I didn’t want to do it because I was so worried it would discredit Mary, Fox News quoted her as saying.

My agent and manager thought that doing this film was an insane move I was told it would be the end of my career, Diaz said before the screening.