What David did was to go speelunking in the diamond-studded caves of Mystery Man on Film's blog to find this post: "A Long Time Ago", wherein MMOF reads and discusses the early George Lucas drafts of what became Star Wars: A New Hope (SW4). Analyzing the very first draft, MMOF concludes this:
Let it be said, my friends, that the early drafts of Star Wars should be a rich source of encouragement to every aspiring screenwriter the world over - because they royally sucked. They are of the same low, amateurish quality that may be found in many first screenplays written by newbies on TriggerStreet. (Thus, many scripts and new writers have the potential to reach Star Wars heights.) Had Star Wars never happened, had Lucas uploaded his first draft onto TriggerStreet, and had he theoretically asked me to review his script for him, I’m not sure I could’ve even finished reading the darn thing.The entire post is a great read. MMOF, who has left Blog World and transmogrified into an ethereal form afloat somewhere in Twitter Heaven (you can follow MMOF on Twitter here), left a fantastic legacy in his blog. So thanks again to MMOF for the time he devoted to his blog. And thanks to David A for unearthing the above gem of a post.
Re George Lucas as a writer, let me just say this: All writers have strengths and weaknesses. While Lucas may come up short on character development, dialogue, and other aspects that contribute to the emotional life of a story, it is a difficult position to argue that he doesn't score points for concept, vision, and structure.
And there's this: For better or worse, Lucas was responsible for Joseph Campbell's "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" ending up in the bookshelves of every studio exec in Hwood. SW4 is an homage, not only to the universal narrative archetype - The Hero's Journey - but also classic character archetypes:
Protagonist - Luke Skywalker
Nemesis - Darth Vader
Attractor - Princess Leia
Mentor - Obi-Wan Kenobi
Trickster - Han Solo
You can also slot in C3P0 as another Trickster, R2D2 as a Mentor figure (the little robot contains the 'wisdom' of Princess Leia's plea for help, saves Luke's life by using its 'wisdom' to shut down the garbage compactor), and most notably The Force as an Attractor ("Go with your feelings, Luke!").
Re SW1: My oldest son, Will, was an enormous fan of Star Wars as a child, almost an obsession. So I plunked down some serious cash to take our family to a benefit premiere of the movie in LA. And I have to admit, I was hugely disappointed. In the spirit of David's comment, imagine what story would have resulted had Lucas collaborated with Frank Darabont or Joss Whedon.
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5 comments:
Great find and read. Scott hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday season. Eat well, drink better,love family and be merry.~Rob
Merry Christmas.
As we all know, though, Scott, he DID collaborate with Darabont on INDY 4... and look where THAT got us. He tossed the draft out and went with that flaccid script from Koepp. Yuck.
I'm curious... how did/does your son feel about the prequels? Someone mentioned it's a "generational" thing, that we old codgers are quick to denigrate Eps. 1, 2, and 3 because of some misplaced, sentimental allegiance to the original trilogy.
(I would contend that its only my allegiance to decent storytelling that made me turn my nose up at Th Phantom Menace, etc.)
Keeping things in perspective - as godawful as the prequels are - Lucas did give us Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and (possibly best of all) American Graffiti. That's more than enough for one lifetime...
Can't argue with that Paul... good point.
Yeah, that post was exciting over on MM's. I think that script is also the perfect reason to not write until your outline reads like poetry.
I think most people go into the prequels expecting them to outdo Luke Skywalker's story. That would have been nearly impossible strictly because of the perfection of the Hero's Journey. But also because no one else could have that story.
Anakin was destined for the dark side, the Jedi all get killed; even Amidala dies at the end.
Whether Lucas meant it or not, I think the idea was to show the bleakness that appears in Ep4.
If you follow Sisious' actions it's clear that he is the central figure (not protag) of the prequels while we see how Darth Vader fell so far.
Yes, I admit that his dialog SUCKED but I can admire the vision. A major problem with the "action" was that the Jedi were not SEAL team or even Sheriffs so they couldn't perform as such. They had to do a lot of talking (using wisdom) while Sidious undermined everything with his "not so narrow view" of the Force.
But truthfully, I don't think anyone went to hear quotable dialog but see the fantasy of other worlds. I mean, even though adults hate him, JarJar is the most famous character behind R2D2. Kids loved Ep1.
I mean I could actually show where Ep4 was overdone cliche, slightly immature and the dialog was just as cheesy.
I appreciate the prequels more for the leaps in CGI. The near-seamless integration of real and fake changed the game - War of the Worlds would not have been possible.
I do agree though that Lucas should have put more stock in at least a dialog rewrite.
The scenes between Anakin and Amidala could have revolutionized the love story.
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