Open forum question from E.C. Henry:
My question this week for you Scott is, how do you format insert shots in spec script format?For the benefit of all, from one of my screenwriting reference books, I submit the following definition of what an insert shot is:
“An insert shot is a special kind of closeup featuring a prop to show some important detail. Often an insert shot focuses on the written text of a sign, book or note.”
This reference book depicts THIS as the way to format an insert shot:
JOHNrips the envelope and pull out a birthday card. He opens it.
INSERT – CARD
Words scrawled in burgundy lipstick: “ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY. IT’S YOUR LAST.”
BACK TO SCENE
John reacts with alarm. He takes a closer look at the envelope.
What do you think, Scott?
I respond to format questions with three things in mind:
* What and how it’s written should make clear to the reader what the writer intends
* What and how it’s written should be as entertaining as possible
* What and how it’s written should be as literate as possible
By the latter, I’m referring to the change in script style and format over the last two decades, away from the directing lingo laden shooting script approach to a more readable, less ‘scripty’ approach. The move away from using transitions (e.g., CUT TO, DISSOLVE TO) with every scene shift, from using specific camera directions (e.g., ANGLE ON, CLOSE UP, ZOOM IN), those are examples of the current transition in script style.
So looking at the illustration above:
* Does it convey clearly what the writer intends? Yes. The insert suggests a CU camera shot of the card, followed by a shot of John.
* Is it entertaining? The writer could have chosen to have John read the card, but that would have come off as rather cheezy, so the insert is much preferred. Plus the insert allows the writer to convey a (seemingly) important clue, the scene description, “Words scrawled in burgundy lipstick.” Another benefit of the insert is to enhance the sense of the reader experiencing the story through the POV of John’s character, so when the shot goes back to John, our reaction is (psychologically) reflected in his reaction.
* Is it as literate as possible? This is where I think the illustration fall short. The words INSERT reads ‘scripty’ to me, as does BACK TO SCENE. So why not this:
JOHNrips the envelope and pull out a birthday card. He opens it –
THE CARD
Words scrawled in burgundy lipstick: “ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY. IT’S YOUR LAST.”
JOHN
gasps and crumples the card –
You can drop the word INSERT and simply use THE CARD as a secondary slug. Likewise drop BACK TO SCENE and use JOHN to indicate how the shot moves out of the insert to a shot of John. In my view, that’s just as clear, just as entertaining, and more literate.
If anyone else has a differing take or a better approach, please post in comments.
UPDATE: In comments, Kyle made a persuasive argument for a different approach:
I read something like this and I’m reminded that I’m reading a SCREENPLAY, instead of a story. I would simply suggest the following–John rips open the envelope and pull out a birthday card. “ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY. IT’S YOUR LAST”– the words, scrawled in burgundy lipstick.
John reacts with alarm, inspects the envelope.
– Keep the reader in the story. Keep their eyes moving forward along the action, instead of having to navigate shot details. Parenthetically, let the director direct; allow the filmmaker to decide whether the cutaway to the card is an insert, angle, etc
As I noted in response, there are times when the information is so critical to the plot, you can use a secondary slug to spotlight it, thereby making sure a reader sees it. But in general, I think Kyle’s bottom line is right: When in doubt, do everything you can to keep the reader in the story, not remind them they’re reading a script.
Thanks for answering my question, Scott.
- E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA
I absolutely hate this. I read something like this and I'm reminded that I'm reading a SCREENPLAY, instead of a story. I would simply suggest the following–
John rips open the envelope and pull out a birthday card. "ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY. IT'S YOUR LAST"– the words, scrawled in burgundy lipstick.
John reacts with alarm, inspects the envelope.
– Keep the reader in the story. Keep their eyes moving forward along the action, instead of having to navigate shot details. Parenthetically, let the director direct; allow the filmmaker to decide whether the cutaway to the card is an insert, angle, etc… (sorry, somehow deleted my 1st post)
Keep it clean and simple, it seems to make the story breathe and move much better.
@kyle: Your approach is certainly more readable. However the one argument I think could be made for spotlighting what's on the card with a secondary slug is to highlight its (presumed) importance to the reader. This wouldn't be an issue if readers actually like, you know, read scene description. But I've talked with enough professional readers to know that oftentimes they skim SD.
But I couldn't agree more with your bigger point and I've said much the same thing elsewhere: I read something like this and I'm reminded that I'm reading a SCREENPLAY, instead of a story. Yes, we want the reader to be sucked into our STORY, and every time we remind them they're reading a script, we run the risk of jarring them out of the story.
So in sum, if the information in the script isn't hugely important, I'd be totally fine with the approach you illustrated. But if the information is critical to the plot – and for the reader to 'get' – I would consider highlighting it with a secondary slug.
Of course, you could argue that capping the message on the note is highlighting enough…
yeah, scott, certainly a matter of taste… if something NEEDS to be highlighted, then go for a baby slug – but in my experience, writers tend to overuse such devices and it begins to appear on more and more pages so every scene we follow the camera….
ON JACK… bla blah action
ON JILL.. action
ON THE PAIL OF WATER… rolling down the hill
just be aware not to overuse the technical stuff. story trumps all.
What if it’s an insert of an image seen earlier in the film?
I have a dialogue scene and one of the characters has the distinct image of these photographs he'd viewed in a previous scene.
The way I currently have it is this…
He gets up, walks around, trying to out-spin the room.
JAKE
It doesn’t make sense.
She rises and goes to him.
NATALIE
Jake, what is going on?
He turns and looks at her–
INSERT: Jake in the conference room, looking at the mysterious photographs of Natalie.
–and he pulls back, moves away from her.
@Erin: By "distinct image of these photographs," do you mean that we are seeing (on screen) what Jake is 'seeing' in his mind's eye? That is not the actual photograph, but his memory / recollection of it?
@Scott
It's basically inserting a shot previously seen of Jake looking at the pictures (the content of the photos aren't revealed just yet)
@Erin: So it's essentially a flashback which you could do:
FLASHBACK – JAKE LOOKING AT PHOTO
[SD - mimicking your scene description from the previous scene]
JAKE
[SD - of Jake's reaction to the memory]
A good point of reference is The Sixth Sense, P. 110-111, where Malcolm flashes back to the shooting only to come back to the present as he realizes he's dead.