Since we featured Wall-E last week, and co-screenwriter Andrew Stanton acknowledged his inspiration for the ‘haiku style’ approach he took to scene description from reading the script to Alien, I figured we should take a look at what Walter Hill and David Giler did with their final draft.
As noted previously, Will and Giler did not receive writing credit on Alien; Dan O’Bannon did (with story by credit to O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett).
Here is the final action sequence of the movie: Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), along with the cat Jones, has left the Nostromo – and supposedly the Alien – for the ‘safety’ of a lifeboat shuttle. The action starts just as Ripley has watched the Nostromo explode — “the boiling fireball fades into nothingness”:
INT. NARCISSUS Ripley watching the final destiny of her ship and crew mates. A very long moment. Then, behind her, the lethal hand emerges from deep shadow. The Alien has been in the shuttle-craft all along. The cat yowls. Ripley whirls. Finding herself facing the Creature. Ripley's first thought is for the flamethrower. It lies on the deck next to the Alien. Next she glances around for a place to hide. Her eye falls on a small locker containing a pressure suit. The door standing open. She begins to edge toward the compartment. The Creature stands. Comes for her. Ripley dives for the open door. Hurls herself inside. Slams it shut. INT. LOCKER A clear glass panel in the door. The Alien puts its head up to the window. Peers in at Ripley. Their faces only two inches apart. The Alien looking at Ripley almost in curiosity. The moaning of the cat distracts it. INT. NARCISSUS The Alien moves to the pressurized cat box. Bends down and peers inside. The cat yowls louder as his container is lifted. INT. LOCKER Ripley knocks on the glass. Trying to distract the Creature from the cat. The Alien's face is instantly back at the window. Getting no more interference from her, the Creature returns to the cat box. Ripley looks around. Sees the pressure suit. Quickly begins to pull it on. INT. NARCISSUS The Alien picks up the cat box. Shakes it. The cat moans. INT. LOCKER Ripley is halfway into a pressure suit. INT. NARCISSUS The Creature throws the cat box down. Very hard. Picks it up again. Hammers it against the wall. Then jams it into a crevice. Begins to pound the container into the opening. The cat now beyond all hysteria. INT. LOCKER Ripley pulls on the helmet, latches it into place. Turns the oxygen valve. With a hiss, the suit fills itself. A rack on the wall contains a long metal rod. Ripley peels off the rubber tip. Revealing a sharp metal point. INT. SPACE SUIT LOCKER Ripley inhales. Kicks the door open. INT. NARCISSUS The Creature rises. Faces the locker. Catches the steel shaft through its midriff. The Alien clutches at the spear. Yellow acid begins to flow from the wound. Before the fluid can touch the floor... Ripley reaches back and pulls the switch. Blows the rear hatch. The atmosphere in the shuttle immediately sucked into space. The bleeding creature along with it. Ripley grabs a strut to keep from being pulled out. The Alien shoots past her. Grab's Ripley's ankle with an appendage. EXT. NARCISSUS Ripley now hanging halfway out of the shuttle-craft. The Alien clinging to her leg. She kicks at it with her free foot. The Creature holds fast. INT. NARCISSUS Ripley looks for any salvation. Grabs the hatch level. Yanks it. The hatch slams shut, closing Ripley safely inside. EXT. NARCISSUS The Alien still outside the shuttle-craft. Within the vacuum of space. The top of its appendage mashed into the closed hatch. INT. NARCISSUS Acid starts to foam along the base of the hatch. Eats away at the metal. Ripley stumbles forward to the controls. Pushes the ram jet lever. EXT. NARCISSUS - OUTER SPACE The Creature struggling. Jet exhaust located at the rear of the craft. The engines belch flame for a few seconds. Then shut off. Incinerating, the Alien tumbles slowly away into space. INT. NARCISSUS Ripley hurries to the rear hatch. Peers through the glass. EXT. OUTER SPACE The burned mass of the Alien drifts slowly away. Writhing, smoking. Tumbling into the distance. Pieces dropping off. The shape bloats, then bursts. Spray of particles in all directions. Then smoldering fragments dwindle into infinity. INT. NARCISSUS - LATER Now repressurized. Ripley is seated in the control chair. Calm and composed, almost cheerful. Cat purring in her lap. She dictates into a recorder. RIPLEY I should reach the frontier in another five weeks. With a little luck the network will pick me up...This is Ripley, W564502460H, executive officer, last survivor of the commercial starship Nostromo signing off. (pause) Come on cat. She switches off the recorder. Stares into space. EXT. OUTER SPACE The shuttle-craft Narcissus sails into the distance. FADE OUT THE END
Easy to see the appeal of this stylistic approach. But I can’t make this point strongly enough (as I did with our Wall-E SDS last week: This style absolutely has to match the genre and feel of the story or it can come off as a horrible mismatch. For instance, the haiku style would not work with a Victorian era period piece; but maybe so for a film noir movie.
What did you notice about this approach to scene description? What caught your eye?
What I adore about the Alien script in general is it illustrates, without a doubt, how visual you can be whilst still being economical with words.
As a script reader I am constantly treated to scripts with mega dense description as the writer strives to paint every minute detail of the scene, little realising the MORE description there is, the less impact it will have, because the reader is unsure which are the *important* bits.
For me it's the way each line of action is essentially a shot. You can perfectly visualize the scene.
This haiku style of every sentence being its own paragraph is OK. I don't mind reading it, but I really don't wan't to write like taht. BUT I will acknowledge it really does serve a good purpose of accenting the ACTION in a sci-fi, horror/action script.
And as you showed earlier with "Wall-E," Scott, it works with animaation too. Hey, wait a minute there's a KEY simularity in genres; sci-fi action/horror and animation both have s sureal feel latent with action…
Dude I think the peices are coming together. But what image are they going to end up forming?
- E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA
No secondary slugs.
I love how this style encourages sparse dialogue (or none at all in the case of the first 20 pages of Wall*E) without slamming the reader with an eye-bloodying, pass-guaranteeing wall of type.
Also, something about the pacing of reading the haiku text feels like great sweeping visuals.
Patrick Sweeney
I Blame Ninjas
what I find is that the action takes place at the spee you read the script since there is no dialog in this section.
You can read faster or slower to play the movie in your head at various speeds to determine how shots will be most effective.
This is a great way to write a script for a sci-fi or horror movie where pacing plays such an important part in making a scene work.
Hill and Giler may not have gotten credit, but read any early Hill script (e.g. HARD TIMES) and you'll see where this style came from.