From The Huffington Post:
“Wow. Just wow.” That’s the tagline of this slideshow. When we set out to collect these, we had no idea how bad they’d be. Killer dolphins, math fails, title contradictions, they’re all here. If you know of one we missed, shoot us an email!
And here’s their list:
The Day Of The Dolphin – “Unwittingly, he trained a dolphin to kill the President of the United States”
The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants – “Laugh. Cry. Share The Pants”
Crank – “He Was Dead… But He Got Better”
Leap Year – “Anna Planned To Propose To Her Boyfriend On February 29th. This Is Not her Boyfriend.”
Silent Rage – “Science Created Him. Now Chuck Norris Must Destroy Him”
Die Hard 2 - “Die Harder”
Suspiria – “The Only Thing More Terrifying Than The Last 12 Minutes Of This Film Are The First 92″
Clash Of The Titans – “Titans Will Clash”
Ape – “Not to be confused with King Kong.”
Life Is Hot In Cracktown – “Be cool. You’re so cool. Life is cool in Cracktown.”
Ghost Ship – “Sea Evil”
Ocean’s 12 – “Twelve Is The New 11″
Let me add my own “wow.” As in, “Wow, my standards must be pretty damn low… because some of those don’t seem all that bad to me.” I mean I just went to Steven Segal’s IMDB site figuring you can’t get any lower than his movie taglines. Check it out:
Above the Law – He was a covert agent trained in Vietnam. He has a master 6th degree black belt in Aikido… and family in the Mafia. He’s a cop with an attitude.
Marked for Death – He’s a good cop. In a bad mood.
Out for Justice – He’s a cop. It’s a dirty job… but somebody’s got to take out the garbage.
On Deadly Ground – His battle to save the Alaskan wilderness and protect its people can only be won…
Fire Down Below — One Man. One Sercet. One Chance in hell.
Exit Wounds – What Can Two Men Do Against A Gang Of Crooked Cops? Whatever It Takes.
Ticker – This Bomb Squad Commander doesn’t just cut wires…
Half Past Dead — The Good. The Bad. And the Deadly.
The Foreigner – If they think they can stop him, they’re dead wrong.
Driven to Kill – They took his daughter. So he’s taking them down.
I mean, c’mon. Can you really top those?
Scott,
Need a good laugh, and the tagline for "The Day of the Dophin" provided that. Thanks. BEYOND FUNNY in a ludicrous way!
==|:-)
- E.C. Henry
"Twelve is the new eleven" isn't bad. The rest? Pretty hilarious.
Who could pass up a chance to see Day of the DOlphin after that? That sounds like the best bad movie ever.
Netflix, here I come.
I'm with the others. I read that and immediately wanted to see DAY OF THE DOLPHIN. Expect Netflix requests for that one to shoot up.
And nothing beats the tagline for JAWS: THE REVENGE. "This time, it's personal." Out of context that might not sound dumb… until you remember we're talking about a shark!
Well Titans will clash, struck me as pretty dopey, but I'm with the others here on The Day of the Dolphin. Why have I never heard of this movie before?
I keep seeing Crank 2's tagline used as an example of bad taglining, but I honestly think it fits the movies perfectly.
I always thought the one for Suspiria was a great one.
i am OBSESSED with good taglines and movie titles. Cool post.
Yeah, I don't know what everybody's problem is with the Crank 2 tagline. It's clearly a Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference("I thought you said you were dead!" "I got better.") and even if you don't get the clever reference, it works because of what the Crank movies are.
They're movies that play with conventions/turn them on their head/make them retarded. I'm not saying they're great movies but they have a definite point of view and I think that the tagline they chose for the sequel falls in line with that. Especially since I'm sure everyone that saw the first one and heard that there's a sequel were probably like "But he died in the first one, how can they make a sequel?" The tagline of sloughing off that major issue is really funny and a really accurate way to get across the information that there are no rules in the franchise.
Again, nobody's going to deny that the Crank movies are fantastic cinema by any stretch but they created a crazy world that stretched into its marketing and I think that's got to count for something. Anybody who makes fun of their tagline clearly hasn't seen either of the movies, in my eyes.
One of the worst I've seen is the original tagline for Beowulf & Grendel:
"Heads will roll."