We’ve been down this road on GITS before — “Brands are the new stars”, “Now it’s Erector Set 3D: The Movie (No Kidding!) — and have been introduced to a new concept based on old stuff: Pre-branded brands. That is, anything old that Hwood could turn into a movie, thinking that since brands are already ‘pre-branded’ in the minds of consumers, it will be easier to market that movie.
Well, it ain’t just Monopoly, Candyland, and Viewmaster 3D anymore, kids. Hwood is moving into what I guess we can call re-branded brands: Take an historical figure, either real or fictional, and re-brand them as an action hero. We saw this with the latest iteration of Sherlock Holmes:
Now check out this per the always excellent LA Times movie blog “Hero Complex”:
Forget Indiana Jones. If you’re making a period-piece adventure these days, you might want to consider putting the whip, wooden stake or pistol in the hand of a long-gone world leader or esteemed author.It may sound a bit strange, but that’s the message coming back from pop culture at the moment. Consider the fact that, at bookstores right now, Abe Lincoln and Queen Victoria are each taking on dark supernatural threats and that Hollywood has plans to turn Charles Dickens, H.P. Lovecraft and Leonardo da Vinci into on-screen action heroes.
The new novel “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” by Seth Grahame-Smith (who also brought the world “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies“) is getting enthusiastic reviews, as is “Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter,” which Los Angeles Times book reviewer Nick Owchar called “wildly entertaining.”
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Just announced, meanwhile, is “Leonardo da Vinci and the Soldiers of Forever,” a Warner Bros. and Prime Universe project that would pit Italian artist and thinker Leonardo against “biblical demons in a story involving secret codes, lost civilizations, hidden fortresses and fallen angels,” as it was summed up at the Heat Vision blog, which first reported the venture. (Who might star in it? That was the playful question asked by Patrick Goldstein of the Big Picture, who is not impressed with idea of the “Mona Lisa” painter as action hero.)
It’s a bit like the practice of genre-bending: Take a character we would normally associate with a dramatic bio-pic and make them the Protagonist of an action movie.
So who else might we turn to as potential action movie vehicles?
Albert Einstein: “The genius of physics… gets physical!”
Vincent Van Gogh: “First he cut off his ear. Now he cuts out your heart!”
St. Francis of Assisi: “Nature lover? Hell no! He’s a force of nature!”
What other ‘new’ action heroes from the past can we re-brand?
Helen Keller: You don't need eyes to kick ass!
Tony, I like it. How about this?
"This summer, Helen Keller hits the mean streets in 'Deaf, Dumb, and Blink Justice'".
Gandhi: Stealth Assassin.
@Darren: That's the spirit. How about:
"He tried non-violence. Now he's pissed! This summer in 'Ghandi: Vengeance is Mine!"
@Tony: Of course, I meant, "Deaf, Dumb, and Blind Justice." Not "Blink Justice." Although I like that as a rock band's name.
Plato's Republic of Kick-Ass
My writing partner and I just spat out a few of these when we heard about Da Vinci:
When a terrorist threatens to blow up the Ecole Normale Superieure, only Michel Foucault and his crazy gay bathhouse friends have what it takes to stop him.
Many suspect that Truman Capote secretly wrote To Kill A Mockingbird–but few know that he did so because Harper Lee was busy tracking down the serial rapist stalking the wives of Alabama's most prominent businessmen.
Only painter-by-day, P.I.-by-night Mark Rothko can make out the fine distinctions in a murder scene that's a color field of blood and gore.
A fellow writer on another board had a story revolving around a young Sir Francis Scott a captain, privateer and politician of the Elizabethan era.
Scott is a char that pops up in movies about Elizabeth I.
I thought it was a good idea & wondered why more people didn't take a historial person & update them for a younger audience.
I've also read that Christopher Marlowe was a spy & there were rumors his death had something to do with that business. Surprised no one has done a movie about this (that I know of).